The Hardest Puzzle Ever

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Isn’t it funny that sometimes life is just like a mystery puzzle set?

Sometimes you think you need to have every piece, sometimes people can just feel complete without needing to have all of them. Sometimes you think you have everything but still you feel there’s a missing piece that you don’t know what it is.

Sometimes you just wanna barter the pieces you have with other pieces which there’s no guarantee they will fit better.

Sometimes you have 9 out of 9, sometimes you can only find 2 out of 9. Sometimes the number of pieces you have change in every phase of your life, today you have 8, two days later you lose 3.

Sometimes someone becomes the one that completes the missing piece, sometimes that person leaves and costs you more missing pieces. Sometimes you become that piece to another person’s puzzle set.

Sometimes you think how to put every piece in order, which one has to be placed first, or you can just do them randomly. And you think, “Did I take the wrong step if I put this piece first?”

Sometimes you keep looking for the missing piece while in fact it’s been sitting next to your hand for so long and you were just not looking.

Sometimes you steal the piece from others, sometimes you achieve it by yourself, sometimes you’re just tired to think about the puzzle and create another imaginary puzzle set, sometimes you just wanna restart the game and don’t wanna mess up again. Sometimes you just have no choice. What does happiness really mean?

I realized I haven’t talked about my feelings in this blog lately, I mostly talk about my travels and other things that I find interesting and informative as they bring more traffic to my blog. Of course who wants to read about sentimental crap. And yeah I’ve been lucky enough that so far throughout this year I’ve had great journeys and relatively in happy and positive mood. But of course I am not always happy. In every year, there must be gloomy moments. I think it’s the first time this year I have it.

No matter how many times life gives you lemons, you’ll never be as prepared as you thought you will be. I understand it very much that in the end, everything depends on how we react to it. But it’s not always easy. Sometimes I wish I could be an ignorant person, sometimes I don’t wanna understand things that I understand, so that I’ll stop feeling worried, so that I’ll stop feeling sad.

Sometimes I just want to forgive myself to feel like this and make it an excuse to not do anything beside being sad. Then I regret the time I spent being sad, because only the time you enjoy wasting is not a wasted time, they say. And eventually, stumbled upon the quotes that I always come back to, “If you do nothing, nothing happens.” And here I am pouring my feelings through drawing and words. Not a big thing, not even matter to other people’s lives. But life is still a mystery. We’ll never know, we’ll never know.

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TouchFive Twin Marker : Alternatif Copic

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Seberapa penting seorang fashion designer untuk bisa gambar? Menurut gw, penting banget! Karena yang membedakan seorang designer dengan tailor adalah kemampuan untuk merancang, baik dalam ilustrasi maupun pattern making, sedangkan tailor hanya menjahit. Kalo sudah mampu menggaji orang lain, nantinya yang mengerjakan proses produksi adalah penjahit, mengikuti pola yang sudah dibuat seorang designer. Makanya menurut gw, ada 3 kemampuan wajib seorang fashion designer; pattern making, basic sewing, dan ngegambar, agar design yang kita mau bisa lebih dimengerti oleh penjahit. Gak perlu perfecto banget (kecuali kalo emang tujuannya pingin jadi fashion illustrator), yang penting gak kayak orang-orangan sawah lah gambarnya.

Jadilah gw mempelajari cara menggambar anatomi fashion, cara menggambar kain dan baju, coloring, flat sketching, dan lain-lain bermodal dari internet, maklum lah miskin. Salah satu alat yang banyak digunakan dan dikoleksi para fashion design gurus itu adalah twin markers, alias spidol dengan dua mata; broad nib dan fine nib. Sebelumnya gw hanya menggunakan watercolor pencils dan spidol faber castle biasa. Tapi kok kurang uwowow ya, mungkin karena gwnya aja yang gak berbakat, jadi harus dimodali lebih. Haha.

Merk twin marker yang ter-recommended adalah Copic, tapi harganya bikin dunia gw terbalik, jadi muram durja. Spidol aja sampe seharga handphone! Keunggulannya katanya bisa direfill, jadi punya brush seumur hidup. Gw suka gambar tapi gak sampe addicted banget, dan hanya sesuai kebutuhan gw aja, jadi gak perlu banget lah ngehedon pake spidol jutaan segala, terlalu mewah buat tangan gw yang rajin cuci piring ini. Jadilah gw cari-cari produk alternatif dari Copic, pilihannya: Finecolor dan Touch. Tapi tetep aja harganya masih terlalu Taj Mahal buat kantong gw. Disaat-saat seperti ini, gw bersyukur Tuhan menciptakan China, karena mereka selalu menciptakan produk knock-off. Salah satunya spidol TouchFive yang niatnya jadi knock-offnya produk ShinHan Touch Twin Brush Marker. Selain merk TouchFive, ada juga Touch New yang harganya sama. Dua merk tersebut bisa ditemukan di Lazada, alias Ali Expressnya Indonesia, tersedia set 30 warna, 40, 60 dan 80 warna. Yang paling mahal, 80 warna, harganya gak lebih dari Rp 700.000, tapi sayangnya duit gw juga gak cukup untuk beli yang 80 warna. Selain itu, kalo beli di Lazada gw harus nunggu sekitar 1 bulan untuk barang sampai, kalo lagi belajar gini, time is money, cuy! Gak bisa gw menyia-nyiakan 1 bulan yang berharga itu untuk menunggu di pagar rumah! Belum lagi banyak review seller yang menjual spidol beberapa sudah kering jadi gak bisa dipake. Untungnya di Instagram gw menemukan akun yang saat itu lagi jual art supplies bekas dia yang masih bagus banget kondisinya, termasuk si spidol TouchFive 60 warna dan marker paper ukuran A4 merk Canson, harga keduanya Rp. 400.000 sajooo… Hoki banget emang gw ini! Hehe. Walopun bekas, seenggaknya gw udah liat color swatch dari spidol-spidolnya jadi terjamin gak ada yang kering.

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Color swatch TouchFive di kertas HVS biasa

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Perbandingan ukuran spidol TouchFive dengan Finecolour. Bagian lancipnya dari Finecolor lebih panjang dan lancip dibanding Touchfive. Nibnya pun terasa lebih lembut. Maklum beda harga.

Set spidol ini dilengkapi dengan tas warna hitam dan gw dikasih bonus spidol color blender merk Finecolor dan pena gel warna putih sama sellernya–terpujilah wahai engkau, sis! Setelah gw coba, gw amazed sama hasilnya karena gw terbiasa pake yang murce maria. Range warnanya juga bagus untuk bikin gradasi. Oia, sebenernya dia ada varian Architecture, Animation dan Illustration, setiap varian percampuran warnanya beda-beda tergantung kebutuhan, contohnya kalo architecture mungkin gak banyak gradasi warna pink seperti varian illustration, lebih banyak warna netral. Warna swatch sama warna di label atasnya juga gak terlalu beda-beda amat lah, ada beberapa sih yang beda jauh. Di bagian kepalanya selain berwarna juga ada tulisan angka dan nama warna, jadi memudahkan untuk ngambilnya. Hasil warna setelah kering bisa berbeda sedikit tergantung kertas yang dipakai, menurut gw sih hasil lebih baik ya jelas di marker paper. Setelah kering, warna juga berbeda ketimbang saat masih basah yang lebih gelap.

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Perbandingan coloring dengan Touch Five dan spidol biasa merk Faber Castle. Kentara kan untuk blending color lebih baik. Gambar baju di sebelah kanan terlihat seolah-olah baju yang gw design terbuat dari jerami.

Untuk masalah percampuran warna, menurut gw sih gak bagus, tapi juga gak jelek, Warnanya masih kentara bordernya walaupun setelah dikasih color blender Finecolor. Tapi yaudah sih maklum aja namanya juga produk jelata.

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Beberapa gambar yang gw buat dengan TouchFive.

So far, kalo untuk kebutuhan, kemampuan dan skill gw yang segala pas-pasan ini, nothing I cant complain about these markers. Malah jadi pingin beli yang 80 warna biar puas ngegambarnya. In conclusion, produk ini recommended banget untuk orang-orang yang masih newbie dan belajar ngegambar. Nanti, kalo udah expert atau udah kaya, baru beli art suplies tingkat dewa.

Life illustrated, Doodling my life

I love thinking about life and laugh at it, whether it’s the past, present or the future expectation. Simple little things that are sometimes silly and we’re shy to talk about to people while actually others are doing the same silly things. We can feel connected to others when one can open up through many mediums, it can be words, songs, videos, drawings, etc. I’ve tried some of them, now I’m trying a new one for my own amusement to laugh about my life, maybe people can feel related to it.

Since in school, I’ve been always the type of student who draws anything that happens in her head about the class–and sometimes the teachers–in her friends’ books (not in my books, i liked to keep my own books clean and free from evidence just in case unexpected bad things happened).

My skill in drawing is just so-so or maybe below average, but I have the ability to express myself well, or at least to me my drawings are still understandable. Using my Samsung tablet, I like to draw random things from silly, good, somewhat inspirational, and naughty (wink!) things and send them to people I am close to. A bit out of topic, it’s why I decided to buy my Samsung Tablet that comes with a stylus pen instead of an overpriced Apple Ipad. Though the real reason was because I was too poor to afford one.

I’ve been posting some of them on my Instagram and made it one of the regular contents in my account (beside my self-obsessed selfies). I even tried to manage the display of my account to make my doodles ordered in one line because I am somewhat OCD, but it means have to regularly post one doodle every after 2 posts, otherwise it will hurt those pedantic eyes. I use black background and white ink color only to be my trademark, few times I put more colors, but the black background is a fixed one.

Here are some of my doodles, will be posting more of it here later. Visit and follow my IG for more. Cheers!